For several weeks now the Greenway Observer Tip Line has been receiving frantic calls from Observers throughout the city! At first they came in as only a dribble, but soon our investigators faced a flood of tips reporting strange sightings along the Greenway. Tipsters described mysterious green objects floating above the path. Generally seen at night, the green objects seemed to most resemble… bicycles!
Now, in documents recently obtained by the Greenway Observer (via the Citibike blog), an indisputable link has been established between this phenomena and the Citi-wide Citi-bike Conspiracy! It would seem that Citibike, in partnership with worldwide military-industrial conglomerate Blaze Industries, has developed the ability to harness lasers to project bike lanes virtually anywhere!
The documents further detail that the conspiracy aims to release a total of 250 of these Weapons of Mass Visibility into the city’s general Citibike population by March! By the look of things, they are well in their way to achieving their diabolical aims!